Sunday

What is it about Sunday that makes me want to crawl in bed with the covers pulled up to my chin so I can watch movies from the warm cushy comfort of my squishy bed?

Also, I want pancakes. And a milky way bar. Great. Now I'm wondering how pancakes would taste with melted Milky Way bars drizzled over the top of them instead of syrup.

Dailies

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

Its loveliness increases; it will never

Pass into nothingness; but still will keep

A bower quiet for us; and a sleep

Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.

-

John Keats 1795-1821

Endymion

Something I didn't plan for

When I made the move from Georgia to Florida, something I didn't anticipate was the budget adjustment I would have to make regarding my sock to lingerie purchasing ratio.

I tallied it up. This winter, I've spent close to $100 in socks. Warm socks. Deliciously soft and cushy wool socks. But still, socks.

That takes $100 out of my lingerie budget, sadly. No new awesome bra set or pjs from VS for me (or the boy) this month :(

Clearly, something must be done about this. Poor people and old people get aid from the state for heating costs. I wonder if they'd accept a "keep Nikki's feet warm but not at the expense of her knickers drawer" aid request.....

I give up

What to wear when you've really and truly given up? Available here.

What to watch when you've given up and you're wearing your Adult onesie?

Try this or this.

And you know? while you're at it, why don't you suck on this, since you're clearly too busy to be bothered by experiencing anything good.

Wow

Swix Mountain Women gloves. For when the camel-toe your uber tight ski pants give you doesn't quite express how clueless you are. Or maybe you are such a hard core trekkie, you can't bear the thought of your mittens cramping your style in the winter. I don't know.

The ties that bind

A lot of awkward questioning by friends and family about the state of my love life, along with two quirky boy meets girl movies, and a tragedy have really got me thinking about relationships, their purpose, why I would want want, their bonuses, their downfalls, and all that nonsense.

1. The questioning: stop it. I'm happy, he's happy (I think) and that should be enough. Why should I have to be the annoying girl who wants to have "the talk" when I'm perfectly happy the way things are? So that I can give you a definition of my relationship with this person? no. It's not happening.

2. Paper Heart: Charlyne Yi and Michael Cera. Awkward and kinda cute. She's a super pessimist who doesn't believe in love or something even though he wants her to, because they are so cute together in their uber nerdiness. Hmmm. Wonder if that's why they broke up in real life? She asks all kinds of weird questions to all kinds of weird people, and we learn a lot about love, mainly that there is no one definition, and everyone pretty much has their own. So, what is this "love" stuff anyway? How can we be foolish as to presume to understand someone else, when people can change, and their words and actions aren't necessarily a true reflection of who they are, what they want, or what their intentions are? How can you be so brave as to tell someone you love them or even that you want love when you're too afraid they'll run like hell if you do (and is that why Yi "doesn't believe in love")?

3. About a month ago, a very dear friend of mine died in a work accident. It was sudden, it was tragic, and it happened 2 weeks before his 1 year wedding anniversary. At a time we should have been celebrating, we were mourning. and still are. and always will be.

So these magical bonds of love, what purpose do they serve? Do they lift us up and protect us from all the bad that's in the world? I used to think so. But now, I find myself doubting. I'm angry and I'm hurting, and more than anything, I'm afraid to let people in because if it can hurt this much to lose Fenton, I'm not sure I can take the chance to lose anyone else. Wow, I know. It's like a step away from locking myself in my house and never leaving again, but that's how it feels. And I know that it won't always feel that way, but I look at my friend Shannon, who lost her husband of nearly a year, and I realize that that declaration of love, those wedding vows that should have lasted another 50 some odd years wasn't enough to protect them from being separated. Is anything?

4. (500) Days of Summer: A movie (finally!!!) gets it right! I laughed hard, I cried hard. Just like a real relationship. It might be my new favorite.

Is there such a thing as destiny? What is a soul mate? Can someone be "the One" if you aren't theirs? And for that matter, can you even really be in love with someone if they aren't also in love with you? Or are we all just in love with a projected image of that person within our heads? Are we in love with the idea of the person? Are we in love with the memories of a shared history? Are we in love with the feeling of flattery that comes along with someone sharing our sense of humor, or tastes, someone showing interest? Are we in love with the idea of love?

I know, I know, all very trite, but since I don't have the answers, (and probably no one does) these questions are spinning in my mind.

2010

Happy New Year!

I'm usually the last person to make new years resolutions, but lately I've had a little time to take stock, and I think I'm ready for some resolutions. Not things that must be done/changed/started/stopped/etc. all in one year, but more like goals for my life that can begin now. Or later. (Hmmm, stop procrastinating wasn't on my list but I should probably think about adding that...)

1. Be more patient.
2. Worry less, play more.
3. Take advantage of opportunities that come my way (this includes living in the now)
4. Unapologetically cultivate my curious nature.
5. Learn my boundaries and say no when someone asks me for a favor that I don't want to do.
6. Drink more champagne (and celebrate life's little victories)
7. Be a busy bee (make more with my hands, write more, photograph more...)
8. Live clutter free (emotionally and physically)
9. Stop missing the life I had and start loving the one I have.
10. Don't fight the current so much, it's exhausting.

(in no particular order of importance)